Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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