I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I wish there were birth control emojis
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
