While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize