She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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