i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
