I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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