I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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