It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
