What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
