Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
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