I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Houston, we have a blender
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
