Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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