Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
