Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
