True but thats because hes a fetus.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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