No more Irish car bombs ever.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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