Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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