he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize