just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
This is my gift to your gina
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
