I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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