You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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