Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
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