Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
