We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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