so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
