The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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