at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
