so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
