Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
