Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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