"it" just moved
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
