this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
