Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
