he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
