I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
