Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
