To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
