What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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