hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
