24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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