So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
