Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
