Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
