I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
