just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
