your parents love me but you hate me
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
