Where is the hickey?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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