So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Randomize
