There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize