I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
