They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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