Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
