return my video game
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
