There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
where are my pants?
in the oven.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
