Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
