He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I think I sprained my soul last night
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
