How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
