Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize