it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
