you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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