Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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