My room smells like vodka and shame
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
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Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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