Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
