"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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