ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
We named our party play list daddy issues
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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