YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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